Monday, May 4, 2009

Bars named after tropical drinks.

Across the state we headed, piled in the Nike 6.0 tour mobile turning
heads everywhere we went, sometimes pretending that it was us and not
the sleek 6.0 Swoosh machine that rumbles with enough diesel power to
make Tim the Toolman Taylor get a half chub..

Friday night was Bradenton... After a late start we made it to
"Tequila Beach" to a mixed crowd of veteran drinkers and younger bar
hoppers... It is safe to say this may not have been "our crowd", but
thankfully there is substance behind this tour that pulls in even the
unexpecting dames and dudes. There is no denying the quality of
Picaresque as a sensory film period. A person that has never stepped
foot in the ocean will be wooed by the dreamy visuals captured
intimately by the 16mm film the movie was shot in. And with the
soundtrack as groovy as any compilation out--- game over Brosquitos!

And even those manly men that had puzzled looks on their face after
figuring out the luscious legs prancing around stage belonged to a man
name Tootsie couldn't help but hitting that cymbal that Hot Damm held
over the crowd during tunes like "Sweet but a lil Sassy" and "My
Terrific Tushhh". All while Cookie Sugahips sang songs of love and
sleaze, rarely breaking eye contact with Tampa's darling playboy
Dustin Howard (who had a huge hand in putting these west coast stops

Saturday night's BLORRgasms were to be had at Daiquiri Deck in Mediera
Beach. Energized by a day of fierce volleyball matches -insert
story..(so we pulled up in the Giant Swoosh, thundering like Jerm's
belly after a plate of chimichangas and margaritas,,, thinking we were
gonna take over the sandy courts..... only to get owned by middle aged
men and women half of which wearing knee braces hydrating only with
Busch Light.) Wait where was I... oh right... so Saturday night was
here, and our panties were as moist (excitement was as thick) as the
humid air! We were all ready to be movin and shakin with our loved
ones from IRB. Cougars were on the prizowllll, no one safe from them
sneakin round every corner comin at ya this way and that... Thanks to
Mikey DeTemple's stand up comedy intros and an enthusiastic sound and
light guy by the name of Glenn an extra sweaty show ensued with all
sorts of strobing lights flashing off the glimmering silk dashiki that
danced around Cookie's body. All while Hot Damm and Tootsie danced
and teased those cougars with no remorse... After a few kind police
men lent us some jumper cables to start our van we were on our way...
Tampa may never be the same..

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